It’s easy to “check-out” on life, especially in the way the year 2020 has turned itself into. Are you feeling alone in the Covid world? I know I never imagined a world we are living in right now. This only happens in dystopia sci-fi novels!

I have had many levels of frustration – job hunting, aging parents, bad knees. I like to describe myself as an “alpha” personality. My husband will tell you, I like to be in control, whether at the wheel driving or owning the remote control, LOL. As I grow older, I have learned to be more assertive and not as aggressive in getting my way. And, I’ve learned how to let go of things not in my control – most of the time.

When I feel out of control, I do get angry and frustrated. It is normal to feel that way to a certain extent. You don’t want to live your entire life feeling that way, though.

As an adolescent I felt that way all the time. Who didn’t? At that time my anger came out in a violent way. I’d throw things or in one case damage vacuums. I can look back on it now with some humor. My two brothers knew how to push buttons. I was vacuuming a room, and they decided to gang up on me. I don’t even remember what they said or did, but I do remember my reaction.  The one thing in my hand was the vacuum cleaner. It was the type that rolled on coasters and followed you as you pulled on the long hose, which in this case had long metal tubes. 

Since I couldn’t reach them, I got their attention by slamming the metal tube between the door frame of the room I was closest to. Not just once but several times. It definitely got their attention and they stopped doing whatever they were doing. So, in my mind, mission accomplished. Until Mom came home. After trying to place the blame on my brothers to no avail, I guess being grounded one week wasn’t too bad.

The lesson learned is that I was responsible for my actions. Not them, not anyone, but myself. That was a long time ago, but first in many lessons about anger. I have found it’s more of the loss of control that I’m frustrated about than real anger. My sense of rebellion boils up when I have to put on that mask, or not able to go to a restaurant I like because it is now closed down. It is so easy to blame the virus, or the politicians, the rioters, and feel helpless. When the world starts feeling over whelming I may check out of the current events, but I do check-in to God.

I pray for guidance and patience. I ask for restraint in my behavior and understanding for why I’m feeling this way. I also ask for His guidance on those that causing my frustrations.

So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow speak, slow to wrath, for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

– James 1: 19-20 NKJV

In today’s world of covid restrictive rules, protests, riots and senseless abuse, let’s also remember –

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.

– EPH 6:12 NKJV